knife month 3: sword month @trash_witch@ni.hil.ist

i'm not stopping i'm not backing down i'll get more dangerous i'll make myself more of a threat i'll teach myself the skills to back up everything i say with action i will never ever stop.

LONG LIVE ANARCHY

NO SURRENDER

lane:

they/them, mostly. gender illegible, gender ungovernable, gender NOT valid. trans, queer and bi. collecting concepts of self-description because i enjoy them, resisting identities-as-borders. autistic and bipolar as a way of being and a psychic gift. disabled. white.

approximate location: southern great lakes region, mississippi river watershed, tallgrass prairie, Potawatomi land.

anarchist with nihilist, insurrectionary, and anti/post-civ sympathies. it's a toolkit for understanding the world and where i am in it, not a scripture to follow.

plants: ecology, botany, herbal medicine, gardening for food and habitat, ecosystem restoration as a practice of mutual healing between human and nonhuman living things inseparable from decolonization.

also: self-defense, art, my own strange personal spiritual practice, much vague discussion of Projects, constant attempts to learn one more interesting and useful skill.

being an entity on the internet:
if i'm not making sense it's probably because i have actual brain damage; thanks for your patience. online is often tiring for me. if i like your reply that's me nodding and going "mmhmm".

death to every state!
death to every empire!
long live anarchy!
no surrender!

you are now entering MISO SOUP APPRECIATION ZONE

and i finished a video game that has made me feel absolutely feral, motivated to practice my self-defense skills in real life, and ready to cause substantial harm to the US military-industrial complex (in uhhh. in more video games of course.)

good to be alive (still experiencing the horrors but nonetheless) or something i guess

and i fixed a favorite shirt i thought i'd outgrown and it fits me again.

and the moon was so big last night and i went out and walked around in the dark listening to the katydids.

anyway. i have fresh ripe strawberries and elderberries. and my house passed the official inspection we needed to be able to really start rebuilding.

it's always "neutralize your ptsd to exist in a world that's not as dangerous as it seems" and never "utilize (aspects of) your ptsd to survive in a world that's exactly as dangerous as it seems (if not even more so)"

it sounds so absurdly simple when i put it into words but something important to my anarchism is that there will always be more going on in the world than i'll ever be able to know or understand

interestingly the people with the most Scarcity Mindset in their worldview are often the least prepared for actual situations

how to break Scarcity Mindset while being practical about specific scarcity scenarios? how to prepare for specific scarcity scenarios without developing Scarcity Mindset?

i identify as a chaos entity, an unstoppable force, and "a problem"

oh, perhaps i don't want to turn my theory project into an academic-style essay at all...perhaps i'd like to make something completely different out of it...

it is time to re-read baedan

here is something: the very real way that structures of oppression and cycles of violence close off our choices and take away our agency does not mean that complicity is the only option. it means to find the options - and they all might be kind of shit, still, i cannot promise you will find good options - but to find them you will need to look outside of the frameworks of what's familiar and permitted and into that unknown that follows from recognizing your current circumstances absolutely cannot be endured a moment longer, no matter what's beyond

no, keep going... please, please, continue publicly announcing that you'd have no ethical objections to working in the military industrial complex and that all it takes to turn you into a violent nationalist is a conditional offer of moderate comfort. go on, be upfront about it, it's useful information to know.

literally it feels just like being misgendered to me and i WILL die on this hill

a Nonbinary Day reminder that some of us are not and don't want to be called enbies.

i'm glad that being an anarchist / being autistic have both prepared me for the experience of seemingly living in a different reality than everyone around me

important: the moon is cream-colored AND there are clouds drifting in front of it

can you turn the industrial civilization DOWN i'm fucking SLEEPY here