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every time it is said that my gender is "valid," i will make my gender worse and less "valid," out of spite. i will also do this every time it is said that my gender is "not valid," once again out of spite. there is no way to stop me

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"i've been here for 6 months and just remembered i never made a real intro post" post

about:
- hi i'm lane
- they/them
- gender: absolutely illegible and NOT valid. also trans
- neurodivergent + disabled
- white
- approximate location: southern great lakes region, mississippi river watershed, tallgrass prairie, Potawatomi land

interested in:
- herbal medicine and autonomous health/care practices
- ecology and habitat restoration (anarchist and anti-colonial perspectives and practices specifically)
- various anarchies and anarchisms
- permaculture stuff but like...not in the settler-fantasy-homestead kind of way
- learning to make and repair lots of things

not interested in:
having a platform / building a brand / speaking for anybody but me / "debating" you / forming my interests into a single static identity / being particularly coherent or legible

i have known i have back problems and a mystery chronic pain condition for six years and every day i wake up and go "hmm. why does my back hurt? oh well, better go do something strenuous with my wrists and/or knees"

i want to make my own solar powered website

i know nothing about web design, servers, or electricity

time to learn some new skills, i think

i realized a lot of things about what i want to be doing and what i actually feel passionate about just in time for the new year, so despite my best efforts i have accidentally made quite a few resolutions.

no thoughts but head not empty. there's some pokeweed and wood sorrel growing in there

the sun's good. takes turns with the moon, sets healthy boundaries. everything else though.........

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yeah i got political opinions here's one: everythings too damn bright. make things less bright

two years of pandemic and masks are still "one size fits all" (it doesn't)!

if i had to elaborate i'd say i'm outside of the binary-nonbinary binary, then outside of approximately 7 more layers of binaries beyond that

(i hardly feel any affinity with a lot of concepts of nonbinary identity that i encounter - to me the vagueness and undefinability of the whole thing is the point. but it's still the easiest shorthand for indicating to others how i may or may not relate to gender, so i keep it around for that.)

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often when i see it, i simply read it as describing anyone who self-identifies with the term, and not those of us who don't. this is fine and ok! but other times, it's clearly intended to describe nonbinary people as a general category, and i wonder if i'm just stuck with yet another set of terms and categories i hate being applied to me.

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do people not realize some nonbinary people don't identify with / dislike / hate being called "enby" or do they just not care?

covid vaccine #3 10/10 would recommend. side effects felt like a mild 24-hour flu for me, slept for almost a whole day afterwards. but i've had a severe respiratory infection that took months to recover from and this was a million times better than going through something like that again.

"A few things to read about At-Home Abortion: A collection of articles on safe, effective ways that abortions are being provided outside of clinics. Intended to inform and share resources for further research; not an instructional, medical, or legal text. Includes a guide to accessing and using misoprostol [printable version of that widely shared illustrated article], a piece on the work and training of at-home abortion providers, and a few other things that may be of interest."

read: bluevervainzines.noblogs.org/f

printable (in theory, haven't tested it yet since no printer access right now): bluevervainzines.noblogs.org/f

like a lot of us on here, i won't accept your follow request if you have no posts and nothing on your profile - please ask again after you've used this site for a little bit! nothing personal (it couldn't be personal, as i know absolutely nothing about you)

idea: lovingly transcribe and reprint some older collage style zines, new versions that are true to the original but don't use up all your printer ink on solid black photocopy margins

trying bookletify for making zines printable and so far it's working!

wieke.gitlab.io/bookletify/

some thoughts on conspiracy thinking and anarchism, perhaps relevant but not directed at anyone in particular 

I was just thinking about left-ish conspiracy theories and my own conspiracy leftist phase while revisiting some of my research yesterday. I feel it's worth learning about histories of repression and counterinsurgency, but I don't think the conspiracy lens is the most useful approach. I'm not sure that conspiracy thinking can be separated from its frequent implicit belief in the powerlessness of "regular people" against forces that are always one step ahead of us; it often carries the assumption that we can only ever react to circumstances orchestrated by those in power. That circles back around to a belief that rulers and states really are all-powerful and perfectly in control. Particularly after summer 2020, when online leftists circulated theories that riots are psyops and that an antifascist assassinated by the state was a secret fed (and I am still SO angry about this), I think an argument could be made that conspiracy-seeking as a method of analysis is incompatible with anarchism. Perhaps there's a reason conspiracy thinking tends rightward. In my observations, it also lends itself to the idea that structures of oppression only exist/persist because the powerful use them to keep people divided - and I definitely see where that comes from, but it's a big oversimplification that ends up downplaying complicity in whiteness, patriarchy, settler colonialism, etc.

(I was reminded of this by a conversation I saw, but I really didn't want to put this whole long thing in the thread. Again, not directed at anyone on here, just wanted to share / enjoyed trying to put this into words.)

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ni.hil.ist

ni.hil.ist is a server run by anarchists who are friendly to a nihilistic worldview.

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