All I really want out of life is to be a grandma. But like not a grandma to any kids who are related to me -- just a grandma to my adult friends who I like and have chosen to associate myself with.

I'm just really tired of having thoughts, I think.

Kill (and I can't emphasize this enough) yr idols.

Nazism 

Saw a car on the highway with a huge swastika plastered on the back and like...that just seems like a one-way ticket to getting your windshield smashed in, right?

Being in academic spaces as a person who is both cool and smart is great because all the nerds who got into academia out of ressentiment and a desire for intellectual superiority absolutely hate you for exposing their whole mode of existence as a sham.

Suicide 

Intrusive thoughts be like:

*sees another human being*

IwishIwasdeadIwishIwasdeadIwishIwasdeadIwishIwasdeadIwishIwasdeadIwishIwasdeadIwishIwasdeadIwishIwasdeadIwishIwasdeadIwishIwasdeadIwishIwasdeadIwishIwasdeadIwishIwasdeadIwishIwasdeadIwishIwasdeadIwishIwasdeadIwishIwasdeadIwishIwasdeadIwishIwasdeadIwishIwasdeadIwishIwasdeadIwishIwasdeadIwishIwasdeadIwishIwasdead

My tolerance for social interaction has always been low, but now, coming out of a year and a half of social isolation, I can barely walk down a crowded street without wanting to crawl under a rock and never come back.

Seems like a whole lot of people who clearly can't read but want to seem rad and edgy have decided that anti-civ and post-left critiques of "life" as an abstract or transcendental value and "health" as a form of biopolitical morality actually mean that any desire for self-preservation, any care for one's own well being or the well being of others, or attempt to prevent suffering in those around them is essentially and unequivocally fascistic. Good and cool and great. Love that for us.

If I see some pretentious pseudo-intellectual Invisible Commitee wannabe mention that "radical" means "to go to the root" one more time I'm going to throw myself off a fucking bridge. Get new material; this shit sucks.

With vaccine passports going into effect where I live soon, I am once again thinking about the prescience of Deleuze's essay on societies of control.

"The conception of a control mechanism, giving the position of any element within an open environment at any given instant (whether animal in a reserve or human in a corporation, as with an electronic collar), is not necessarily one of science fiction. Felix Guattari has imagined a city where one would be able to leave one’s apartment, one’s street, one’s neighborhood, thanks to one’s (dividual) electronic card that raises a given barrier; but the card could just as easily be rejected on a given day or between certain hours; what counts is not the barrier but the computer that tracks each person’s position—licit or illicit—and effects a universal modulation.

The socio-technological study of the mechanisms of control, grasped at their inception, would have to be categorical and to describe what is already in the process of substitution for the disciplinary sites of enclosure, whose crisis is everywhere proclaimed. It may be that older methods, borrowed from the former societies of sovereignty, will return to the fore, but with the necessary modifications. What counts is that we are at the beginning of something. In the prison system: the attempt to find penalties of “substitution,” at least for petty crimes, and the use of electronic collars that force the convicted person to stay at home during certain hours. For the school system: continuous forms of control, and the effect on the school of perpetual training, the corresponding abandonment of all university research, the introduction of the “corporation” at all levels of schooling. For the hospital system: the new medicine “without doctor or patient” that singles out potential sick people and subjects at risk, which in no way attests to individuation—as they say—but substitutes for the individual or numerical body the code of a “dividual” material to be controlled. In the corporate system: new ways of handling money, profits, and humans that no longer pass through the old factory form" (Gilles Deleuze, "Postscript on the Societies of Control").

Like, this part of the essay always felt the most far-fetched, hokey-science fiction adjacent. But now, this is literally what is happening where I live. There are plans to make it mandatory to show proof of vaccination to access certain services, events, buildings, etc.

I am not anti-vax, but like...this should be concerning to everyone. And if you think this won't affect you negatively just because you've gotten vaccinated, 1.) You should still be concerned about the amount of control this gives the state over your life; and 2.) There will absolutely be instances in which this negatively affects and is enforced against folks who have been vaccinated. Issues are already arising due to uneven standards across the country. My mom is worried that she won't be able to come visit us because the province where she lives does not plan to have vaccine passports, and so she'll have no real way to prove that she's been vaccinated when she tries to travel.

Anyway, this whole thing is fucked and I've been thinking about it a lot lately.

My immediate reaction to randos on the internet trying to tell me shit about politics or political theory is almost always: "I know more than you."

Finally encountered a real life capitalist-libertarian Stirnerite. Wild shit.

Sometimes I think about that time CHVRCHES did that dope cover of Bella Legosi's Dead and all those 40 year old goths got so butthurt about it, and it makes me smile. Good times.

You ever hear someone say something so unbelievably stupid that it makes you wish you were dead? Yeah...

Growing up knowing people living with schizophrenia really gives a different perspective on D&G and thr whole schizo-analysis thing.

If I took a break whenever I felt like I deserve a break I would never not be on a break.

In Memoriam: Jean-Luc Nancy

illwill.com/in-memoriam-jean-l

"As the dominant image of politics, the tradition of sovereignty has always been based on a philosophical anthropology of a life in need of, and desiring of, governance. To this essential insight, shared by many post-’68 thinkers (and anarchists before them), Nancy adds a further observation: the shipwreck of classical politics originates, he argues, in its effort to constitute a community of common experience and belonging. To found or ground community invariably means to ascribe to it a sense, aim, and standing, whether metaphysical or anthropological. (Here, even ‘anarchism’ must be careful). To constitute a community is to codify it, to give form and function to a (purportedly) common set of beings, and thereby to institute a normative regime of legitimate belonging.

Since Nancy saw no way to codify a community that avoids this archē-violence, the project of Western parliamentary politics is, in his view, fundamentally dead.

Still, we want to live together, and with one another. For many of us, this does not imply any interest in governing others, or ourselves. We wish to become, and remain, ungovernable. This basic impulse is a driving current in much contemporary theory. Moten speaks of it as a drive toward an “unconquered life.” Agamben describes it as a “destituent power” or a form-of-life. Jared Sexton evokes an “unsovereign” or “baseless" politics, a politics without foundation."

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ni.hil.ist

ni.hil.ist is a server run by anarchists who are friendly to a nihilistic worldview.

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