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I feel like I should not have to say this, but: if you are a white nationalist, do not try to follow me on here.

I feel like, if I was driving down the road and someone chucked a huge rock through my windshield causing me to crash, I would probably think: "fair enough. I am clearly in the wrong here."

One of the frustrating things about living in a city where the population skews heavily toward retirement-age boomers is that you can't step outside or go anywhere without being assaulted by the stench of musty ass, dusty-rose perfume and hand cream.

My two moods --

"Sorry for being hell's shit"

and

"Sorry for being the best that ever was."

The matter of whether or not people "do" anything or fight or resist is largely irrelevant to me. People can do so if they want, or not if they want. I like to resist in certain ways, to try and change things in particular ways when I can. But I don't do so out of hope. I don't do so with some grand vision of social change or renewal or revolution or salvation in mind. I don't do so because I think it will solve anything or contribute to something bigger. I do it because I want to. And if you don't want to, fine. There are plenty of times where I'd prefer to just remain still and rot.

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One of the frustrating things about people who complain about "doomers" and push for a renewal of hope or some shit is that: physical and social conditions on earth are substantially worse than even the most pessimistic fantasies of most people who get labelled as doomers.

There is literally nothing to be hopeful about, nor is there any need for hope. Hope just puts things off, pushing them into the future. It constitutes a form of what Lauren Berlant calls "cruel optimism" (though I'm not a huge fan of her work, either). Just give up the ghost, kids. Get ready for the worst and know that things are going to be even worse than you imagine.

Would very much like to lie in patch of moss and disintegrate into nothing right now, tbh.

Literally any time someone evokes "rights" or having a "right" to something, I want to shake them by the shoulders and scream: "What is a right? Where do rights come from and what are they based in? How do we know what they are or that they exist? And who do you think guarantees those rights?"

People seem to have this quasi-mystical understanding of what rights are and how they work. Bats in the belfry, baybeeeee.

Someone I know is trying extremely hard to justify to me the fact that they enjoyed the new Top Gun movie. Like, bitch, I don't care if the special effects are cool or the dog fights are entertaining or they try to make Tom Cruise sympathetic or whatever the fuck. It's imperialist garbage made solely for the purpose of selling war and exorbitantly expensive machines of death to a public that is already enamoured with its imperialistic military apparatus. Fuck off.

I recognize that it is largely a function of the education system itself, but it really is remarkable to me how many students just want someone to tell them exactly what to think and what to do; who have absolutely no desire to think or act for themselves. They just want to know what they're "supposed" to say, what they're supposed to think about certain things, the exact parameters for "success" within a given course, or field, or assignment.

As a teacher, it's pretty disheartening and exhausting to run up against this so much. I try to be clear: I don't have any answers; I can't tell you what to think. I'm just trying to help guide you towards how to think so that you can try and figure stuff out for yourself.

I have come to the conclusion that any time Foucault wrote a Preface for a book by someone else, his preface is always a thousand times better than the text itself.

Case in point: Anti-Oedipus

Been feeling under the weather the past couple days, and even though I know it has no basis in medical science, all I want to do is lay in the sun like a lizard and let the illness bake from my body

The resurgence of late-90s / early-2000s fashion is a bane upon existence. Truly a sign that we are living in the decline of empire. No even marginanlly functional society would allow this to happen.

Tired of feeling so unbelievably fucked up and heartsick.

Life is a constant process of deconstituting and reconstituting, unlearning and relearning things about yourself, but recently in particular I've been trying to dismantle this perception I've had of myself as weak or frail or not particularly robust in my mental/physical constitution.

I am capable of enduring quite a lot. I can handle myself. I do not crack under pressure. I know what I am and am not willing to tolerate and will draw those boundaries when necessary. I am stronger than I think.

Ended up in the emergency room after I coughed so much I passed out tonight. It happened while I was playing DnD with friends and they thought I was doing a bit. When I woke up, they were all laughing. Definitely gonna hold that over their heads for a while and see how much sympathy I can milk from em.

I would say that my approach to teaching is almost 100% vibes-based.

Took a little treat to a guy I'm seeing while he was at work yesterday, and he was so happy and grateful, and really wanted to let me know how sweet he thought the gesture was. Which was lovely! But also made me a bit sad that no one had ever done something like that for him before.

Men deserve kindness and cuteness and thoughtfulness, too.

As a cis gay man who is largely ambivalent towards genitals and buttholes, I felt that I am the true pariah of the community. Where's my pride flag? I'm gonna write an overwrought Medium article about this.

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ni.hil.ist is a server run by individuals who are friendly to a nihilistic worldview.